UUUUGGGG

First of all, I miss doing these blog posts

So, we had a band competition about two or three weeks ago. I was going in there not looking for anyone but, to play my heart out with marching music. My feelings for Login have passed and I felt really good that day. It was a great day.

I kinda sorta met this guy, Hunter, and I didn’t really think much of it. Recently, I have been wanting to see him and he says he wanted to see me. He said he wanted to be my first guy kiss and that I meant a lot to him. So today I decided that if he really cared for me then I wouldn’t be the one always texting him first. I didn’t text him at all today. He never texted me.

Being a pessimist, I thought the worse things possible and I wouldn’t doubt if they were true. i thought that he didn’t care for me like I thought he did. I thought that he only liked me for my looks, which I don’t see how that was possible because I look like the aftermath of Shrek’s lunch, and that is all he ever complimented me on was how I looked. I mean it didn’t bother me because I never get complimented on my looks. There is the odd occasion that the new math teacher-lady says that I have nice body posture, but anything other than that.

I am not the person to base people on the way they look. I find the personality of a person more attractive than their face. I mean good looks are a plus but, they aren’t everything.

So that thing with Hunter happened and then I am getting the feels for Login again and I am hating myself for it because I thought I was over him. To make things worse, my best friend told me that she would join winter guard, which is basically color guard only in the winter time, and so I agreed. I talk to a friend of mine about it since she is the color guard captain and she informs me that Login is doing it as well. YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!! When the time comes, that experience wont be weird at all.

I have a lot of emotions going on all at once and I can’t get them to stop. I don’t know if I should actually find someone to date or just settle down because my friend call me a man whore and I am kinda starting to believe them. Maybe because I was talking to one guy, getting feelings back for another, and then complimenting a different guys butt, which I didn’t mean to say out loud…you just kinda had to be there, so…yea.

So I am down to a straight guy and a gay guy that may stop talking to me in general…I am just gonna give up on trying to find someone. Seems like a logical solution…right?? One can only hope.